A First Year Bronx Teacher Who Loves Her Kids Says “Enough”

There comes a point when you’ve been shoved around by your job so much that you stop caring. It’s scary when that day is a Tuesday in March and you’re a teacher. I’ve been bullied. I’ve been ignored. My kids IEPs are a catastrophe (I don’t do them, we have a “team” for that). I’ve been told I can’t do my EdTPA for my certification with my students because I can’t record them when my school is legally obligated to let me do so. I’ve been observed so many times with so much negative feedback that I shutter ever time the doorknob turns. All this while all the students are requesting my class instead of the other teachers. All this while my fall term students stop by every day to say hi and tell their peers they’re jealous that they have me. All this while I have 40 on each of my rosters and I’m supposed to call home every time a kid is late. It’s my first year and I feel like I’m drowning. It’s my first year and my bosses are telling me I’m the worst thing to happen to my classroom. It’s my first year and my bosses talk about me behind my back. Word gets back to me, it always does. It’s getting hard to pretend. It’s getting hard to smile.